Thursday, June 27, 2013

Son, Husband, Father

My hunka hunka burnin' love
Son, Husband, Father …..These are the three most important titles that a man can have in his life (eternal and temporal). I am grateful for the brothers, husband, fathers, and grandfathers in my life whether they are related through blood, marriage, or even friendship. I am truly overwhelmed by the gratitude I have for these men.  I feel that the importance of these roles in families are too often belittled in our over zealousness to support women and women’s rights. I wish we would spend more building up the importance of both men and women!
Yes, women can do anything they set their minds too! I spent most of my childhood with my Mom being a single parent. I also spent time with grandmothers, aunts, and neighbor women who are strong, determined, and capable women who were not intimidated by gender roles. So why do we need to put men down in the process of elevating women?  Yes women were and sometimes are still treated as second class citizens. Thankfully this is happening less and less.  Yes. there are men who were and are cruel and horrendous towards women BUT there are also many men who are kind, loving, and respectful of women. Men who take being a son, husband, and father seriously! Too often we as women say we can do everything ourselves and rob men of the importance of their roles. We (intentionally and unintentionally) strip them of their identity and lower our expectations for them and then wonder why men are only meeting our low expectations. Thus, reaffirming stereotype that men our “useless and worthless.”  It’s a type of self-fulfilling prophesy: we lower our expectation of their importance’s and capabilities and then act mad when they only meet these expectations. For example, on TV married men with children are often portrayed as over weight, lower IQ's, and lazy. While their wives a fit, cute, smart hard working women. What kind of message does that send to the rising generation of men? What kind of message is this sending to women?

Justin with his dad and brothers
I am grateful to the then men in my life who have recognized their value and importance’s in the family. For the men who respect themselves and those around them especially, the women in their lives. I am grateful for the men who believe that marriage and family is a team effort where everyone works together. I am grateful for my grandpas, dad, step dad, and father in law who have been examples to their sons of how men should treat and respect ALL they come in contact with. I am grateful to my wonderful husband who supports me in my roles as a wife, mother, daughter, and friend. I am grateful for his never ending support and encouragement as I tackle new challenges and cultivate new skills.  Most of all I am grateful for a husband who takes his titles of son, husband, and father seriously.
My Daddio and I on my wedding Day
I hope that we all remember the importance of honest, kind, and loving men who willingly take on these roles. I also hope that we keep our expectations of what we expect from men high.
Belittling and negativity never helped anyone reach their full potential. Let’s build each other up so that we may allbe our best selves who work together as a team.

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