Friday, April 5, 2013

Trials and the Atonement


***excerpts from a talk I gave a few weeks ago****

My most recent and favorite calling has been becoming a parent.  Since becoming a parent my understanding of heavenly fathers plan has greatly increased. Now I often wonder how heavenly father feels when he sees his children struggle, make bad decisions, experience pain, when they overcome a great personal challenge, or when they become a loving parent.  I also have gained more understanding as to why he allows us to face challenges.
When Sienna was two weeks old she had to have the PKU screening done. This involved Justin holding our new little baby while the nurse made a small cut on her foot and collected several samples of blood. Sienna with her limited understanding and I being in my postpartum state were both emotional wrecks. Every fiber of my body wanted to grab her and protect her from this pain. It also included a strong desire to smack the nurse for hurting my baby. So why did I not do that? It was because I understood the importance of the PKU test and its vital role in protecting Sienna. The pain she experienced from the test is nothing compared to the pain and heartache she would face if Phenylketonuria went undiagnosed.  These few moments of pain were in essence protecting her from suffering greater pain in the future.
Likewise, Heavenly father has allowed us to face some challenges now in order to prevent us from facing greater trials later. The word of wisdom may be difficult to follow especially, when your peer group (at any age) is constantly tempting and tormenting you for following it, but it is there to protect us. It protects us from the greater trails, pain, and heartache that can be caused by substance abuse. The other second type of trial involves strength.
Until recently Sienna hated tummy time. She would scream bloody murder entire time. Why did I continue to subject her to this if it made her upset and my ears ring in consequence? I did it because she needed tummy time to build the strength and coordination required to hold her head up, crawl, and eventually walk. She needs this to build up her strength so she can progress, grow, and to experience greater happiness.
There are times when heavenly father gives us our “spiritual tummy time” to help us build our spiritual strength and coordination required to return to him. As a result we will eventually experience incomprehensible joy and happiness.
Like any parent would do, when sienna experiences the pain I hold and kiss her, sometimes even shed tears with her. When she is doing tummy time I lay on the ground next to her trying to make to the experience more bearable for her, maybe even enjoyable.  Heavenly father does not leave us leave us comfortless. He provided us with a perfect savior to comfort and strengthen us.
  Deuteronomy 4: 30 and 31 state:
When thou art in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the lord they god, and shalt be obedient unto his voice.
(For the lord thy God is a merciful god;) he will not forsake thee, nor destroy thee, nor forget the covenant of thy fathers.
In a quote by Elder Bednar he states:
The savior has suffered not just for our iniquities but also for the inequality, the unfairness, the pain, the anguish, and the emotional distresses that so frequently beset us. There is no physical pain, no anguish of the soul, no suffering of the spirit, no infirmity or weakness that you or I ever experience during our mortal journey that the savior did not experience first. You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, “No one understands. No one knows.” No human being, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did. And because He paid the ultimate price and bore that burden, he has perfect empathy and can extend to us his arm of mercy in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch, succor,- literally run to us-and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying upon only our own power.”
Sienna can choose to accept the love and comfort I provide or reject it. We similarly can choose to accept, ignore, or reject the saviors’ perfect love, comfort, and strength.
While going through trials we understandably think: “why me?” “Why my dad? He is so kind and understanding. Why does he have to experience so much pain?” With our limited view we don’t fully understand the “why’s.” Many times during our trials we forget about the strengthening and enabling power of the savior. Often we pray to have the trial to be removed instead of asking for the strength to endure and learn from it or even the strength to change it ourselves.
Elder Bednar said,
“As you and I come to understand and employ the enabling power of the Atonement in our personal lives, we will pray and seek for the strength to change our circumstances rather than praying to have our circumstances to be changed. We will become agents who act rather than objects that are acted up.”   
Mosiah 3:19 says,
“and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and Becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”
Even though trials may rage against us, the Saviors’ all-encompassing atonement will strengthen and enable us to overcome and change it. The atonement will remind us that these trails will be but a small ripple in the grand view of the ocean of eternal life.
In the words of our savior in John 16:33
“These things I have spoken unto you, that ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world”
If we turn to our savior we too shall overcome. Faith through affliction is always pointed with hope toward the future.
I know the savior will comfort, sustain, and strengthen us during times of trial if we allow him too.



Friday, March 29, 2013

The results are in...



I remember when the Germ and I were dating (pretty seriously) and he told me that he was thinking about going to medical school. At first I felt really nervous because the processes seemed endless and the challenges we would face during schooling and residency were not something to be looked forward too. His uncle who went the physical therapy route, told him that medical school may be a challenge on his marriage and who ever he married would have to be flexible, understanding, and willing to do things on her own. "Am I that girl? Can I do that?' I remember wondering (and have wondered off and on since). The answer I received then (and now)  was "Yes!" Yes, I can do hard things! Yes! I can adapt, change, and do the things required of me! Yes! I can do my part to make sure our marriage stays healthy and strong during this time and always ( side note-I hate it when people give me "advice" and tell me about the increased chances of divorce with him going though medical school because that is not "advice"). I can do what is required to help my husband and our family reach our goals. Does that mean it is going to be easy? NO! I have no illusions about that because the process thus far has not been easy. There were many conversations about the "what ifs" such as, "what if we don't make it in." The added class load, working full time, endless studying for the MCAT, the hours of shadowing and volunteering, applications, interviews, and the endless waiting game have not been easy either. By far that has been the worst part has been the endless waiting game,  waiting for the MCAT score, waiting for interviews, and waiting for acceptance (and rejections), and so on. The last seven months we have been waiting to find out where we were going for sure, unable to plan on where our future will lead us. FINALLY, we are able to make that decision! We are going to....



YAKIMA WASHINGTON!



We could not be more excited! It is such a relief to be able to say where we are going. The last few months of being in "limbo" was not our favorite stage to be in.  We have been tremendously blessed! The fact the he was accepted to three schools is pretty amazing especially, considering that the amount of medical school applications turned in this year were up by 30 to 40 percent, making it even more difficult to get in. I am proud of the Germ and all the hard work the he has put into this process.  I am excited for our new adventure ahead of us!

The moral of the story is, "Life is going to be challenging no matter what, so work toward your goals!'

-Dooney

PS. We graduate in just a few weeks :)

    

Wedding day - when our adventure started

Dearest Peanut #6



Dearest Peanut,


We need to have a talk. I feel like you broke a very important understanding that we had between us. You promised me that you would not grow up so fast! You are five months, weigh just over fourteen pounds, and you have started to recognize people (Sorry uncle Chan....it is nothing personal). You are sitting up with the help of some pillows, they are mostly there so you don't smack your head when you get so excited that you to loose your balance. You are also rolling over (from tummy to back) and inching your way across the floor to get the toy that you want. In a few weeks we will start introducing you rice cereal and other wonderful things that come on spoons. You will be talking, walking, and going to Prom before I know it. Now don't get me wrong I love seeing you grow and progress BUT do you need to grow up this fast? I did not agree to you growing up this fast! Although there may have been days that dragged, the weeks and months have flown by since your birth.  You are welcome to slow down a bit or at the very least make time go a little slower. 

"I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be."

-Mom

 Loving the warm weather!


Smiles even after getting shots


Watching the neighbors dog intently


Cheering mom on while she goes jogging (I wish I was that enthusiastic about jogging)

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Blessings


Blessing  4 1/2 months



Sunday March 3rd was a special day for our little family, Sienna was blessed by her Daddy. She wore a beautiful dress made from the extra fabric of my wedding dress (both made by my Grandma). Peanut's sweet spirit was truly shinning that day. As strange as it may sound, this little four month old seemed to be "over joyed" to be there and to see her family. Indeed, with her pure spirit I believe she had eyes to see those who we could not.







The week before Sienna was blessed, Justin's Great Grandma Slater (Sienna's Great Great Grandmother) suffered a stroke on her way back from Arizona (she was coming back for the blessing). She passed away in a Las Vegas hospital the day before the blessing. This made the blessing an even more emotional of an experience.

Five generation picture
 (so very grateful we took it before they left for AZ.)

When Justin took Peanut to the front of the congregation it felt as if heaven opened up and our sweet baby was surrounded by her family members both present and those who came before including, Great Grandma Slater and Grandma Mund (she passed away when Peanut was two weeks old). My heart overflowed with feelings of a divine love for Sienna, my family, and my Heavenly Father.

There have been several times in my life where the veil has become thin and the powers of Heaven felt so strong and encircling. Moment when my heavenly family has come to support, sustain, comfort, and encourage me. Indeed, I believe there are moments in everyone's life when Heaven feels closer with angels surrounding us. These moments could be moments of joy such as eternal marriage or when a new spirit enters this world. These moments also come in heartache, sorrow, and fear. Moments when as a teenager you are crying on the couch scared to death about what is going to happen to your Mom who was just rushed off to the hospital. The flood of emotion that sweeps over you when a terrible diagnosis is made. When pacing the waiting room while your companion is in surgery with no guarantee of the outcome. These are the moments when Heaven is all around us. When those beyond the veil mourn with those who mourn, provide comfort to those in need of comfort, provide peace in desperate need of it, and also rejoice in our hard won victories. They do this with a perfect knowledge of our savior and with a perspective of life and death that we won't fully see until we are reunited.

These moments,when we feel Heaven is here, we can more fully understand the blessing Saviors all encompassing atonement. The importance of eternal families and the binding power of temple Sealings. In moments like Sienna's blessing I begin to understand how much my earthly and heavenly family love me.

  

-Dooney

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

See you next year February


February is a wild month in the Germ household with a celebration happening almost every week! Between Valentines, my birthday, and the Germs birthday there are many reasons to eat treats (and to make your pants fit way to tight). So here are some pictures of some of our adeventures in February.

Valentines

My Valentine after her morning nap 

Came back from school to find rose petals, a sweet card, and this message!  

Candle light dinner for two (Peanut had an early bedtime)


Hanging out with my sisters for the weekend!

We were lucky enough to help my Mom out by spending some time with my sisters. Could helping my Mom get any easier than playing with my little sisters all day? I sure love those little munchkins!

Coloring time - Peanut already has great handwriting and has picked up spelling pretty easily;)

Took my sisters for a bike ride - Peanuts first bike ride in the "chariot of fire"

Peanut 

Peanut turned four months and developed a lovely rash from drooling so much.

Turned four months and ate some fingers to celebrate

She went on a treasure hunt with dad

My Birthday 

I turned twenty-three and spent the day with kindergartners, Peanut, and avoiding homework! 

Turning 23 might not have been good for my teeth or skin...

The Germ got me some awesome florescent flowers....Bright colors make me happy! 

 The Germ gave me "I am spoiled rotten" Birthday Boots!

The Germ turns 26!

Sadly the Germ had work and school all day on his birthday but he was able to get off at 6:30 instead 10:30 pm. So we celebrated by feasting our guts out! I made mushroom stroganoff, tossed salad, and flourless chocolate cake. MMMM...... Sorry, I was just reliving the deliciousness. We also continued with our James Bond fest (for better and for worse we are currently watching all the James Bond movies in order).  Thankfully, we weren't yet to Moonraker or his birthday might have ended with a dud. We didn't get many pictures for the Germs birthday but he did get this gem of a birthday card from my mom.


My mom reminded  us of the importance of tattoo placement. 


February was a great month for us here in the Germ household filled with love, family, laughs, birthdays, and pure happiness!

Spontaneous family photos in the kitchen


Now I am off to work off the FOUR cakes we consumed over the past month!  

-Dooney





Tuesday, February 26, 2013

LOVE

This past year has been a year of LOVE. My love of others has grown immensely this past year! In return I have felt more loved then ever before.


  Last year, the Sunday before Valentines, I found out I was pregnant. I never knew that I could love someone that I had never met, seen, or felt. I only knew she existed because I had peed on a little stick. Yet, the love I felt for that little Peanut was already immense! It grew even more when I felt those first little kicks in my belly. Then my ability to love surprised me when my heart over flowed with love when she was born My love for this sweet and feisty little girl continues to grow as I get to see her flourish and bloom!



My valentine at 4 months

4 months and still loving that fist!

Consequently, Peanut made me realize how much I loved The Germ and how much he loved me! While I was in the throes of morning (all day/most of pregnancy) sickness, he held my hair and rubbed my back while I "worshiped" that porcelain god. He made me plain toast, brought me orange juice, and did the dishes so I could avoid the vomit inducing kitchen. I realized just how endless his love was, when he quickly forgave me after I accidentally threw up on him. He indulged my cravings of hot fudge sundaes, milkshakes, peaches, pastrami burgers, and waffles. He slept on a tiny portion of our full sized mattress for several months, while I struggled to get comfortable. During those post pregnancy days when hormones, lack of sleep, and breastfeeding were causing regular emotional breakdowns he was there to support me. He would come home after work and take over all of sienna's night feedings, so I could get some much needed rest. I don't think I could have done it without him. I am so grateful I get to call this wonderful man my Hunk a Hunk a Burnin' love! 


Wedding day 2009


   Getting to know each other at the Hospital
Life is pretty good when you get to love these cute faces and have them as your Valentines!



  

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Dearest Peanut #5


Dearest Peanut,

You have been so happy lately! Is it because mom has cut back on her holiday chocolate intake? Is it because we are getting better at this whole parenting thing? Maybe it is the fact that you are getting more head control so you are able to face outward in the baby carrier while I clean the house. Whatever is causing this super happy and smiley little girl I will take it! You have been so happy that you even learned how to giggle!



 Along with all your happiness you have become a girl of many faces! We can always tell how you feel by the faces you are pulling. Here are just a sample of the many faces you pull:


Discovering your tongue faces

Your waking up faces

Your Superhero face!


Wondering why mom is taking another picture face

Sad about shots face!

Your mad about being in the car seat face!

When you are really excited or want to be picked up you will have your eyes wide open and raise your eyebrows up and down several times.  You look kind of like this:







Only in a non creepy and much cuter way!





Keep those faces coming!

Love you to the moon and back,

Mom



PS.  You love it when Dad dances while your in the backpack!